Falling

To look in his eyes

To hold his hand

Just to know he’s thinking of me

I am falling

Falling fast

Falling uncontrolably

I dont do this

This isn’t me

But in his gaze

There something

That makes me truly happy

When my knees are weak

When my insides feel like they exploded

When being beside him is being too far away

When the words bye are too unbearable to say

When I miss him every second

That’s when I know I’m falling

Falling for him

Falling into what I know nothing of

Falling into something I want to know all about

Falling in love

Damascus – My Emerald City

 
‘ Istira ha khams dakkaik’’ : A phrase I heard 4 times a day, 5 times a week for a month. The announcement of a five minute break after an hour of the teacher, making a class of 15 foreigners understand his language. The language of our beloved Prophet Muhammed PBUH, the language of the Holy Qur’an and the language I had come to Damascus to learn; Arabic.
 
Our beloved prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim…” (Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 218)
 
 
As a muslim I was naturally intrigued by the Qur’an. My mother has been teaching children how to read it for years, but I refused to learn from her until I understood the language. My argument with my mother was how could I find guidance if I didn’t understand it. I’m sure the non Arabic speaking muslims can relate to this.
 
I fell in love with Damascus the moment I laid eyes on it, from almost a thousand feet above. As the plane landed, the city lights I could see from the window, blanketed the entire horizon. Even from inside the plane, I felt this city was something special. Something I could not wait to explore. I was almost embarrassed to be so excited. I made intention in my heart and stepped off the plane, onto the land that would be my home for the next two months.
 
 
My first week was spent chasing things up to complete my registration at the University. This involved getting a blood test at a clinic, and a visit to the high security British Embassy, among other things. According to hadith, the prayer of the traveller is one of five types that is accepted by Allah SAW very quickly. As a single woman alone in a foreign country, I knew Allah was helping me along every step. Some students had many problems registering, but Alhamdulilah Allah SAW made it so easy for me.
 
During this week I visited most of the Islamic historical sites. Walking through Souq Hamdiya, I felt like I had travelled back in time. The buzzing of people buying all sorts of things seemed to reach every little alley way. At the end of the main street this buzzing was met by a sudden serenity.  As worshippers and tourist a like stood in awe of the stunning Ummayd mosque. The open courtyard with its pristine white marble floor, the intricate mosaics on the walls and of course, the beauty of the minarets, which stood proudly yet humbly above it, gave this mosque a look one can never forget.  I gazed in admiration imagining the kind of people that had built it. I took a moment to think about the days when Muslims were glorious.  A few steps away from the mosque lay the tomb of Salah-uddin, the man who fought for Jerusalem; A fight still being fought today.
 
I felt so happy that I had been able to see all these sites. It warmed my heart to know that I was able to come and seek knowledge in place that had been oozing with it since Islam was brought there hundreds of years ago.
 
My sightseeing days were interrupted by classes and homework and exams. A routine I had not been in for eight years.
Day one in class: The teacher burst into the room as if he was expecting a room full of eager students, instead there were two; an American boy from Miami and I. He greeted us in Arabic, asked where we were from, then left the room. By the time he returned, the classroom had filled up. 15 people, four girls and 11 guys from all over the world and all kinds of backgrounds, gathered in this classroom, in the basement, with one goal –to learn Arabic. We were each given a text book that contained no English text at all and a CD for listening exercises.
 
Most of the first few days were spent going through the alphabet and practising the sounds of the letters. Some of them were easy but a few were very difficult. As I later came to learn, pronouncing a ‘ka’ instead of a ‘qa’ was the difference between the word dog and heart.
Alhamdulilah, by the end of week one of class, I could already speak about myself in Arabic. Only the simple things thought, like my name, my age, my profession, where I lived, why was in Syria and my likes and dislikes. Week one was a good week.
 
Week two started to get a bit tougher. I had an exam at the end of week and had to learn what seemed like impossible grammar rules. In this week study groups were formed and I got to know more about my classmates. All of them were very interesting people and I felt quite fortunate to have gotten to know them.
 
 
As I reflect on my trip, the one moment I treasure the most, was standing on Mount Qasioun admiring the whole of city as the sun set. It was comforting to witness the city in action, from the peaceful Mountain top. The mosques in Damascus line the horizon at night with  bright green lights. This city became the Emerald city to me. Not only because of the beautiful green lights, but to me it was like the Emerald city in the film ‘The Wizard of Oz’: the story of a girl travelling to the place where she hoped to find the way back home.
Except, my journey is my life, and Damascus was a part of it. My life has only one purpose – worshipping Allah. I hoped that my time in Damascus or, my Emerald city, would help me in some way, to find my way back home; back to Allah, back to Jannah.
 
“If anyone travels on a road in search of knowledge, Allah will cause him to travel on one of the roads of Paradise……(Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 3634).

For the love

I heard That you’re settled down That you Found a girl And you’re Married now

I heard That your dreams came true.

Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you

Old friend Why are you so shy?

Ain’t like you to hold back Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.

 I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded That for me it isn’t over

Never mind I’ll find someone like you

 I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don’t forget me I beg

I remember you said “Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead.

” Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead, Yeah.

You know how The time flies Only yesterday It was the time of our lives

 We were born and raised In a summer haze Bound by the surprise Of our glory days

 I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.

I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded That for me it isn’t over, yeah

. Never mind I’ll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don’t forget me I beg I remember you said “Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead

” Nothing compares No worries or cares Regrets and mistakes And memories made.

Who would have known How bittersweet This would taste?

Never mind I’ll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you too

 Don’t forget me I beg I remember you said, “Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead

Faith can get you anywhere. It can get you into things and out of things. It can get you into places you never imagined you’d be.

I was somewhere I never thought I’d be recently.

This post is deticated to those who have faith and those who don’t.

Your dreams are ALWAYS within your reach if you have faith. ..and if  you think about it only those who have faith can go for their dreams because if you don’t believe then why waste your time!

Today I started a new project, working with the interns.I feel like Christina and Mer from Greys Anatomy, except I won’t be mean to them. It’s great.

My heart goes out to those suffering in Haiti. it really is so difficult to imagine having NOTHING and NO ONE and not knowing how or when that will change. Inna lillah hi wa inna illahi raji oon. We belong to Allah and Him we return.

My heart goes out to those suffering all around the world be blessed with patients as the darkest hours are just before the dawn…if this is not a sign for us then what else is? And really this is just 1% ONLY 1% of  His mercy…

So how does one go about blogging. The web has been around for a while now, why has it taken so long for me to throw myself into this? I keep a personal journal which only I read, but why not write something for everyone else to read. Who knows, someone may even find this interesting or better still,  inspiring.

Although the title of my blog is from a passage of  the  Islāmic book, the focus of my blog isn’t strictly religious. As one of many single British muslim expats women living in the Gulf  I hope to share my day-to-day experiences. From my exciting newsroom job to the  interesting people I meet out and about. Everything we go through in life shapes our character, our manners and how we treat other people. 

I’m loving blogging already…but will leave it here for the time being.

Peace.

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

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